Barnaclebutt

I have to have the worst assortment of towels ever. Years ago, when Marc and I were first married we had a nice set of lovely matching towels that were wedding gifts from people who loved us and had checked our Macy's registry and bought us towels. Lovely lovely matching towels. The joy.

But while we were living in our first little studio (fold out of the wall bed, I am not even kidding), I left those sweet defenseless towels in the common laundry area and they were towel napped. I was naive enough to write a note begging for their release and left it in the laundry room but, as you may have guessed, there was no mercy.

And that was the beginning of my towel mismatch misery. Probably that was so long ago that I can't really blame all my towel woes on the incident, but I've never really recovered.

I tried buying matching white towels that I thought I could bleach and keep white, but don't do that because it does not work. Now I have a bunch of white towels that feel nice but look dirty the minute they come out of the dryer and no amount of treatments make a different.

Once I worked at Williams and Sonoma and so I acquired their lovely matching dish towels, but they are super worn out now and I just keep using them. Dish towels at my house run the risk of scary encounters with 409 with bleach anyway; they all end up speckled.

Once I bought lovely fancy company type towels to stage a house Marc built and when that was over I took them home and SWORE that they would stay nice and only come out for company and that worked for awhile until they turned up in the laundry one day with oil paint all over them.

When I interrogated the children Katie admitted that she had used them to protect her desk from getting messy while she painted. "Why! Why these ones?" I cried. And she told me sweetly that she picked ones that she thought I didn't like because I never use them.

See?

No, I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why I'm writing about this. Plus even when we get some nice new towels I have to keep all of the old ones (because is why) so the entire collection, as it were, never looks lovely matchy anyway.

The end.