Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

When Ellie Made a Splash at the Super Bowl!

Monday, February 8, 2016

My kids love hearing stories about the funny and embarrassing things they did when they were small. I think it's because the persons who were embarrassed were me and Marc so it's kind of like we are the punch line of every story, "...and then mom had to drag me away with her face flaming red, her head bowed in shame and a fierce vow never to let me out in public again. Mwah ha ha..." What's not to love?

Image result for super bowl
So in honor of the Super Bowl (Go Broncos!), I bring you the story of when Ellie made a splash at the Super Bowl.

It happened when we first moved to California. We came here for Marc's job and he had only been working at his new law firm for six months when our family was invited to a Super Bowl party at one of his colleague's home. A colleague who is, naturally, a big deal partner at the firm. In spite of his intimate knowledge of our family and how weird we are, Marc was very intent on all of us going and making a good impression. I know, right?

I'd like to insert an aside here where I wonder how some people get children who are quiet and docile, attached to their parents, and only interested in silent reading. Is it a levels of karma and reincarnation thing? And if it is, am I more evolved and the universe thinks I can handle crazy kids or am I less evolved and, well...?

But I digress.

So we all six go to this fancy party at this ginormous and beautiful house where the couple hosting have no children but instead a massive collection of original artwork including sculptural pieces grouped on low side tables scattered tastefully throughout the home, and outside (Heaven help me), a crystal clear pool with attached hot tub. In other words, hell. 

I need to add that this was about seven years ago. Ellie was an adorable and incorrigible six year old.
Marc and I swiftly assessed the situation and ascertained that the pool/hot tub combo was dubious but still a better fit for our family than hanging out inside with the priceless art collection. We immediately impressed on each of our children the extreme importance of staying away from the water and the equal importance how much we were going to kill them if they could not stay away from the water.

So Jonathan and Ellie started playing by the water.
Here they are around that time. Cute little devils.
What follows cannot be blamed on us. We parented. We warned and threatened and redirected and distracted and ALL THE THINGS. For reals, not our fault!

At some point people tried using this social event filled with firm employees and clients to schmooze with us, clearly not understanding the eminent danger of embarrassing us that our children teetered on the precipice of, and in an attempt to be polite and perhaps a little shmoozy ourselves, we took our eyes off the children. 

Cue horror music.

Our eyes, and everyone else's, were brought back to said children when Ellie started screaming as she wrestled her way out of the hot tub (where she'd been fully dunked)and began clawing at her brother like an angry wet cat. Do you have kids? Do you know how loud a mad six year old girl can be? It's loud. And not to be shushed or reasoned with.

Oh boy were we mortified! Marc basically scooped up Ellie and made a b-line for the car. I understood intuitively that I should grab the other kids and quickly follow. Sometimes our minds work as one. That is what the crucible of parenthood does to you.

And that, my friends, is how Ellie made a splash at the Super Bowl.

Fun fact: Marc was so upset about this that we didn't bring Ellie back to the annual Super Bowl party for three years. Each year she would be angry and insist that it wasn't her fault because Jonathan pushed her in, and each year we didn't believe her. But two years ago Jonathan decided that the statute of limitations was up on punishment for past crimes and admitted that he HAD pushed her into the hot tub.

Sheesh.

This year Ellie came with us as her sweet and socially amazing self. In fact, I was able to sit and visit with friends while she worked the party with her dad, shmoozing like a pro.



Journey to the Center of my Heart

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Every mom knows that as much as you are trying to teach your children everything they need to know to launch into the world, in the end, you learn more from them than you could ever teach.

Some of the lessons are less fun than others.

I think that's why you don't see as many blog posts about teenagers.  Also, they can read.  And be offended and/or embarrassed. But am I letting that stop me? Nope. Because this year I have learned a very large, very important, very painful lesson. And sharing is caring.

Ah, how to begin? I have a daughter...she is lovely.  Ever since she was a baby her smile has been like sunshine and as she grew her quick wit kept us all in laughter.  Like every mom, I tried to teach her all the things I thought would make her happy.  One of those things, a really big one, was my religion.  It has been the anchor in my life, my testimony of Jesus Christ has sustained me through the hardest times, and I wanted to gift that to my child.

But my beliefs didn't sit well with her. She has always had her own mind and when I tried to tell her how to dress, and eat, where to go and who her friends should be, and especially what she should feel and believe, well she just hated it. I did try to do it the right way, her Dad and I are pretty easy going most of the time. Sheesh, just writing this-it is so hard to explain. She didn't want to do anything bad, she just didn't feel what I feel, so everything else seemed like faking. She didn't want to have to fake it to fit in our family or have our approval. It made her mad and sad. Oh, and feisty.

I, on the other hand, felt that what we were trying to teach is true, with a capital T, and if I couldn't teach it then I was failing in my most sacred job as mother. So I wouldn't give up. In fact, it took God a lot of different notes for me to get the message. The message wasn't that I needed to give up, it was that I had already done what I was supposed to do, and it was time to let my beautiful girl's spiritual life be between her and Him. That was hard to hear.

The Spirit speaks to different people in different ways, it even speaks to the same person in different ways...particularly if said person is having a hard time getting the point.  In my case it took at least three times before I could acknowledge to Marc what was being said to me.  I guess to start I had a general "unease," a feeling that the path I was on (insisting that she do what I said because I knew it was right and I said it) wasn't really working (HA!) for us. Then one afternoon I was in 9 year old Ellie's class listening to presentations on California missions, and each and every one of those astute fourth graders listed the Catholic Priests forcing their religion on the natives as a "con" of mission life. And the Spirit whispered to me, "See?" 

Then a few days later a really beautiful young mom, who I admire and know through my church congregation, was cutting my hair and telling me how when she was younger she needed to figure things out on her own and explore her own spiritual path. She said that the best thing her mother did was to support her in finding her own way. And the Spirit whispered again, "Let her be."

Later that week I told Marc how I was being directed and he agreed that we needed to rethink our approach. Then the penultimate message came while we were listening to General Conference, a world wide broadcast where the prophet, apostles, and other leaders of the Mormon church teach and preach twice a year, and Elder Larry Y. Wilson was speaking about parenting. He said this, 
"We simply cannot force others to do the right thing. The scriptures make it clear that this is not God’s way. Compulsion builds resentment. It conveys mistrust, and it makes people feel incompetent. Learning opportunities are lost when controlling persons pridefully assume they have all the right answers for others."

It was like a light bulb (finally) went off in my head and my heart. This talk is parenting gold by the way, if you want to read it click here.

So. There.  I have shared my journey. Judge gently my friends, parenting is tricky but worth it. I am so happy being mom to my own wonderful children.

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Everyone already knows that I love to read, and usually I am totally out and proud to announce that I love kids books. I say things like, "I love juvenile literature." Firmly. Because I was raised by my parents, certainly, but also by Narnia, Oz, Middle Earth, King Arthur, Nancy Drew, Anne and Emily, Gulliver, and a host of other childhood friends. Add to that that one of the best joys of motherhood is access to the constant stream of books my kids bring home, from Ivy and Bean to Uglies and Pretties.

Yep, I'm proud of my affinity for all of the non-adult genres, but last week when I was happily browsing at the delightful downtown Barnes and Noble I really had to own it. There I was, blissfully perusing the jackets in the Young Adult section, when I looked up and noticed the sign above the shelves. It read, "Teen Paranormal Romance."

Oh. I know. I do like those.

She's Driving in My Car!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I think the phrase "mixed feelings" must have been invented by a parent with a child on the cusp of adulthood. Here is my beautiful daughter, who as of Friday can DRIVE, and it is totally freaking me out.


But before I make this all about me let me just say to Maddy how very proud I am of her. I told you you would pass! And you are the most amazing, lovely young lady and I am so happy for you!

Okay, back to my trauma. She is DRIVING people! And studying for her college entrance exam! And talking about prom! And you know what comes after that? Turning 17 in June...and then college next year...and then getting married and leaving me forever. Argh.

No joke I keep wandering in and out of the kitchen singing "Stay With Me," from Into the Woods like a crazy mother.

But then there's the good parts...like I've already been able to send her off to pick Jonathan up from a play date. And how excited I really am for her to have a fantastic college experience. And how proud I am of her super cool Maddiness (but I kind of wish she didn't keep her room like a hamster).

...and then I fantasize, briefly, about how nice and not hamster-nest-like her room will be when she does go off to college...

Since the thing I like best is pretty much staying home in my pajamas her being able to drive really is great. So great. But sometimes, just for a minute, I feel really sad.

I love you baby girl.

Sometimes My Best Parenting is Crap

Tuesday, April 7, 2009



When one of my friends moans, "I'm a terrible mom," I am so full of comforting blah, blah, blahs.


I tell them that they are wonderful mothers (and they are). I tell them the proof is in the pudding and that they have raised spectacular children (which they have). I point out that their plates are overflowing and that no one expects them to be perfect all of the time (except them, of course).


And then I share the epiphany that I believe should clear up all their anxiety (ha!). "If God needed children to be raised by perfect people," I say with certainty, "then he wouldn't be putting them in families."


I need someone to call and give me the lecture. Today I failed Ellie. She is not an easy kid, this daughter of mine. Her cup is half empty and her wants runneth over. But this morning she needed me to be loving, and I was impatient and hard. What I want to know is, can you really make it up to your child when you let them down?


She's off at school now. Much hugging and snuggleing shall ensue on her homecoming.

 

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